I thought you should know that you passed out in your trash can last night.
Thanks for throwing up on me.
She does have a great personality.
Yeah, in her vagina.
Whoever said drinking more helps a hangover didn't drink 96% of a fifth of whiskey last night. This is absurd.
ol I'll be okay, it's only a christmas party so the worst that could happen is I end up playing madden naked again
i left him drunk and in the fetal postion in the shower.
was the water running?
yeah but he said he knows how to swim
Fire inspection over. Blunts are OK
I dont even clean my room anymore .. i drunk proof it for when i come back smashed with a guy
I ended up taking shots of whiskey and chasing them with potato wedges, I have never felt more Irish
Fell in the ditch running from the pizza guy I stole the pizza from. If you are still at my house come find me, pretty sure I need stitches.
Last night in my drunkenness I bought hurricane supplies which included a jug of wine and a bouquet of flowers. Apparently I'm going to woo Irene.
I'm posted up in the bathroom at au bon pain, high as balls, experimenting with eyeshadow combinations and listening to 90s jlo. The girl in the stall next to me just plopped a big one and I laughed, hope I ruined her day
I am disappointed by everyone's lack of ability to dance on a stripper pole:(
My greatest accomplishment today was eating a box of Thai food the size of a toddler.
Made out with sailor moon tonight. Childhood dreams do come true.
Have I told you i love you?
there's no need we are two peas in a naughty pod of fuckery
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