I'll pay for our taxi if you let me makeout with the drummer and we don't leave RIGHT when the bassist does.
I will be home in 10 min. Dont be beating off on the couch
enter at your own risk
just walked into the room and her sister said loudly, "do him, or I will."
I love how understanding people are when they hear we first hooked up getting high and watching nature shows
My mouth holds just enough water for my bong
I was more concerned about the amount of mcdonalds fries on the floor around me than i was with my lack of clothes.
I was going to make out with him...then he licked syrup off the kitchen floor.
She wanted me to watch her masterbate and after she thanked me for a wonderful evening and left. This state is weird.
This is Jewish guilt versus Irish Catholic guilt. We should tread carefully, or we could fuck up the space-time continuum or something.
I'm okay with that.
It's gonna be ok. As we grow older we sometimes lose sight of what's important to us. Like safe sex. And standards.
Fucking holidays. How do I have this many men who want to fuck me and none of them are available when I'm ready to blow my top?
And that kids is the last time I ever try to outdrink Germans
I just took the batteries out of the xbox remote so she could replace the dead ones in her vibrator If that's not love I don't know what is
She proceeded to flip everyone off then open a Heineken with her teeth.
You told everyone to shut up then told the officer that you are 21 when you drink.
Randomize
