Not only did I see you last night, you had me help you meet women by convincing them you were deaf and only I understood your sign language
I'm so fucking pissed that I wasted my shooting star wish on him and his little penis.
Fell asleep in bio again. Sometimes i feel like college is just one really expensive nap.
she walked in on me snorting my prozac. there was no way to convince her i was doing a good thing.
Just calculated that for my last final tomorrow I need 120% to improve my grade and 53% to keep it..buying 30 packs now, go get dressed
Do you think I should make him wait for my responses or do you think sophomore have no concept of time like dogs?
Remember that time I tried to pierce your nipples while high... it's like that, only with more blood... and less nipples
AND WHAT FELONIES DID I MISS OUT ON WHILE SLUMBERING!?
Well, we 69'd in the Jacuzzi. If that tells you the kind of night I had. Neither of us knew we could hold our breath that long. Deff. Most. Dangerous. Sex. Ever.
She's astronaut crazy. She will wear Depends and drive 12 hrs non-stop if you swipe right.
Challenge accepted
so he's a sleeptalker.
yeah??
"Mitochondria is the powerhouse of the cell" right in my ear. 2 am.
So uh... Did you mail me business cards that describe my profession as "tortured soul"?
Why r u in my phone under "the last survivor"?
how does that bad decision feel?
Nope. I'm an adult now. I can successfully avoid to vomit in defiance of the porcelain god\n
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