You should swallow it and be like the ticking crocodile. Only you play Still of the Night.
A friday without alcohol is hardly a friday at all
Planet Earth isn't gonna get stoned and watch itself.
yeah my parents were only ten feet away and we somehow managed to do it in five different positions without them noticing
Well, if they're both my boyfriend.. Then i cheated on both of them.
Slurping strawberries throug a straw. It feels like the kool-aid man is coming in my mouth.
the fact that we had sex in the dining hall makes it seem so much more like home.
Finished watching the entire first season of mighty morphing power rangers. Now I have nothing. Not even a life.
can't blv i tried using a "backpack" as a unit of measurement...i drank a lot of beer last night
I just took the soggiest of beer shits and all i have to eat is shredded cheese and more beer. I need an adult.
I have a strong contender for the new number 1 position for fwb. He met me at the door with pizza and a shot of patron
What's protocol when the 18 year old son of an anti-gay preacher sends you a message on Grindr during church?
That amount of times your family has seen my boobs is getting ridiculous.
the kid next to me in math class is drawing gay porn. it's good, but that is beside the point
Why is there cereal literally EVERYWHERE?
It didn't follow directions.
Randomize