I just wish we had the ability to download food from our TVs.
I woke up at 11 this morning in my car parked in front of the bar.
I know, I tried to wake you up, but I couldnt. So I walked home
she actually told me to ignore the cokeheads in the corner with knives.
If you hook up with your cousin you will permanently be my favorite person ever.
Just missed the last train for another 5 hours. There are balls in or around the mouth of my life.
He just told an 8 year old to go fuck himself so we probably won't be in the butterfly exhibit much longer.
Oh my god. A memory of last night just came to me. One of our neighbors joked about Thomas having a big dick and I just kept shaking my head profusely.
Haha keeping the dream alive until Chinese New Year. I'm jobless with stitches in my face.
Dear god. Please. Please do NOT deprive yourself of dick for 90 days. Blood will spill. Wolverines will howl. I can't handle that kind of terror.
Yea not today, I ending up taking a shit behind a tree last night.
Aka reading hardcore gay robot porn as a steady trickle of elementary schoolers walk by me every so often and im still in uniform as there councilor
Who is also still dressed up as a pirate
My stuff that was at your place last night smells like doughnuts. I'm not even mad.
Spoiler alert: my plans for Halloween are going to make our dealer's birthday look like a bunch of mormon ladies having a scrapbooking circle
I wanted to waterboard myself with beer, but no one would give me their shirt to do it.
Can I come over and get it in, take a nap in ur bed, grab some poptarts and then leave?
You haven't lost that air of class about you...
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