Just met a synchronized swimmer, can you imagine the things she could do in the water
Legs for days
Harpoon that
My mom caught just caught me jerking off...in her room.
well that was a long night...
dude, you were pretty messed up... what happened?
no idea... but i still woke up with my pirate hat on
What the hell am I supposed to do with 50 gallons of mayo?
school has made you so classy.
that's mcgill. producing sluts since 1884.
can you please tell me why I'm bleeding so heavily from my ass and all my makeup is gone?
she asked if i had a condom...i said yes...when we finished it wasnt on...told her it was at home on my dresser.
Pretending to care to care about playoffs in exchange for free shots. I'm sorry in advance.
I want him to get the hint. I sent 4 texts that only said "sex."
She won't let me open the car door while we are on the highway so I can throw up outside. She deserves to have her car thrown up in.
Woke up this morning on my doorstep in a basket with a branch, a lipstick lightning bolt on my head and a sign that said "the boy who lived." i love you guys.
I am currently watching him baptize himself in a baby pool with a handle of belvedere while wearing a coral dress.
I want to have sex with him.
i swear to god if you did anything to my honey bunches ill remove all the oats and shove them up your dickhole then play pinata with my foot to knock them all back out
Jesus himself couldn't make a better sandwich
I walked into my house with my pants inside out, no shoes and a limp. My mom asked me if I had fun but I passed out before I could reply...
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