Do you still have your period?
What the fuck I just showed up to court still drunk and the judge told me I smelled like his wife
They turned the water off again. Brushed my teeth with whats left from those pitchers of mojitos. So hung over i dont even care.
i was laying in her brothers bed, in his old room. and i kept getting the chills. i didn't know if it was a draft or the ghosts of BJ's past.
There is a full size piano in the middle of our road. Please tell me you had nothing to do with this.
Makin mac and cheese without you. Definitely seem to do this better inside you. Splashed boiling water on my cock
remind me not to fuck anymore half bald 20 year olds. because obviously there's attachment issues
She tried to kill herself by taking a whole packet of panadol. I mean HELLO THAT'S ME EVERY SUNDAY MORNING.
Also I just learned you, Samantha, and I three-way made out at my Halloween party. News to me.
That night just went downhill after you pissed yourself while sitting on my lap
True love: he brought me a margarita while was in the shower. He's a keeper.
I would say I miss her friendship, then I remember that she gave 4 guys the clap. I'm good.
Also- should we send out holiday cards? That say, "Eat a dick, 2014"?
Also day 6: dick is healed and ready to go back to work.
He's a wizard, there is no other explanation for how hard I came last night. None.
Randomize
