and then he ordered a "diet and rum" like the most important part of the drink was the diet.
so for future reference,at what point did you feel like a line had been crossed?
I just want you to know that if I ever had to fight man eating flowers or flying turtles to save my friends they'd be fucked. No one's worth all that bullshit. PS I really need to stop playing Wii while drunk.
A donut and a mojito for breakfast...Helloooooo Derby Wekkend!
SHE has hooked up with both me and my sister. I don't even know what to say. If she goes for my parents next I may have to kill her
honestly I asked the same thing when we had our slip n slide and margarita party
Next time we're there I want drunk pics of us trying to ride the stone lions downtown. Don't even attempt to fight me on this.
Going to.goingto.gtoing to DIE DIE DIEEEE......i feel like everyeone impotrant in my life like MLK is judging me.... saddd day
New rule for Thursdays: no high gymnastics
I'd rather be sodomized with a fullly decorated Christmas tree.
Literally if she wants to make a big deal, I'd rather have shit smeared on my face.
somehow attending a funeral viewing turned into me snorting cocaine in the bathroom and drawing ninja turtles for children
Just got road head. In broad daylight. On the interstate. During rush hour. Pushing the envelope one public bj at a time.
I JUST LIKE FLANNEL, NOT VAGINAS! OK?
just learned i can hear my fish chewing his food WHILE HES IN HIS BOWL. im going to have to call you back.
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