Getting food. Want anything?
Vagina. Double meat no buns. I have the secret sauce
my "about me" section on Facebook should read "hell-bound alcoholic who wants to fuck a 40-year-old crackhead"
Rosebud was a fucking sled. Gay.
Best. Handjob. Ever.
I'm guessing Kelly is over?
Nope. Home alone.
I had to close one eye to read the questions on my final this morning. That hungover.
he likes to slap my ass alot untill he missed and hit his own balls poor bastard kept on going.
it's official, after last weekend my girl number is higher than my guy number. fix this.
There are too many people on this bus for it to be even REMOTELY okay that I'm wearing a puke covered sweater
Wise words from the guy who drunkenly chipped his teeth on the sidewalk
Crosswalk actually
So I think before Superbowl weekend begins we should all take a look back on last year and learn from our pitfalls... AKA no touchdown shots and kitchen crying.
LISTEN TO ME! GAY. FIREFIGHTER. They are the most rare and precious kind of gay. The kind little gays dream of. It needs to happen.
I just instagramed a picture of an ostrich in case you were wondering what I did with my night
Just banged your ex. So it really is 'him, not you' in that he's gay. Rodeo champion gay.
I don't care if his family has ties to the mafia, you go over there, ride his dick until it breaks off, put his dick back on, and keep on riding. Lather, rinse, repeat.
Thanks for the support, sis.
Only you would try street racing in a Volvo.
Randomize
