I miss you like a fat girl misses the prom.
What are you talking about? And how drunk are you?
Both
turns out gay frats are just like normal frats, only with more v-necks
I don't know how this happened but I got an email thanking me for being a Waffle House regular. HOW DO THEY KNOW?? Maybe I need to stop going there shitfaced.
the line runs infront of fredricks of hollywood. it's like gamestop is showing me how pathetic I am.
so today in my theology class we brought up the proper way to have sex. so rough sex was said by the teacher...I said I know a girl that likes to be choked. sorry but everyone knew it was you
like the penis drawn on my face is so detailed and well done, i'm not even upset about it.
I told him I'd go cook him breakfast, but ended up passing out on the kitchen floor in the fetal position spooning the dog
I had to run home with my hands covering my tits this morning. How does this keep happening?
Wall of shame with a backpack full of beer bottles, cowboy hat in hand, and a handlebar mustache. I was applauded by a passing car
no it was
but you compared your dick to a female disney character
He's a drill sergeant! The sadomasochist in me can't resist that.
Just wore the promise ring dad gave me freshman year of high school as a fake wedding band while I bought a pregnancy test. I think it's safe to say that's not what he had in mind with that gift 14 years ago.
Little does she know that you've out-sourced your conscience to a girl who doesn't even wear pants on a regular basis
Why yes, I DID want cramps for Christmas, how did you know God?
Randomize
