yo my bday is less then one week away. hope youve found another annoying candian i can lick dairy products off of. also sorry about your loss
I can always make him wear a mask... I'll tell him it's a fetish.
answered a 6 am booty call this morning...you were still in the er so I thought what the hell
I feel like butter and tequila would be excellent combination. Right now. Please do this in my name.
I pulled my bra outta my purse. Covered in honey mustard. I still lack an explanation.
Apparently my face was in the trashcan and in between throw ups I was screaming LOS DIABLOS. I woke up this morning with a bird flying around my room. Nobody seems as concerned as I am.
He just walked in the house and decided to wake everyone up by yelling "I SHIT MYSELF!" We all thought he was joking....we were all wrong.
Why does 2015 have to start with so many regrets?
You could totally spank that new found Catholicism out of him.
SOS... STANDING IN THE BAR NEXT TO MY BF AND THE GUY WHO I HOOKED UP WITH ON CHRISTMAS DAY..
Jesus Christ. Even your cock has to be an overachiever. :-(
I can still be you friend and be there for you. And sometimes get drunk and fuck you.
I suggest both. Please have sex with them and prepare notes for a final comparison.
Am I required to send a Christmas card to my fuck buddy?
Man it shouldn't be possible to get mad while you're stoned. I feel like ive broken one of the laws of physics
Randomize
