So would u like to explain why you ate all my pickels and took my 1800?
About that, i have your 1800 on my desk with intentions of returning it but theres nothing i can do about the pickels
just the thought makes me want to clean my vag with a clorox wipe
remind me not buy ky at kmart ever again. Had to get a manager to open the locked case. then he stood there and watched me look through the selection
I hate that ur telling me this.
just told my prof that "i dont give a fuck" about the final. nothing like a having a signed employment contract already
she refuses to pay for the plan b and so do i. it's the most dangerous game of chicken i've ever been involved in. but i have my pride.
he designed a suit out of pillows to protect himself when he fell.
engineering majors are such efficient drunks.
And I don't know what it is about weed making me want every episode of the real housewives of everywhere
I only know two things that kitchen floors are good for... sex and quesadillas that got dropped. You know, the five second rule
No but I was fuckin done when I realized my acrylic nail caught fire when I was hitting the bong.
I saved him in my phone as "Well-Hung Burrito Savior." I love Taco Tuesday.
One public bathroom does not equal a wedding vow
I just need some of your time and all of your body.
I just made mac at 3:10 am... My life is falling apart...
I need water and some morals
she was all excited about us being eskimo sisters and then i was just like "alyssa i've literally been inside of you" and she got even more excited
Randomize
