she said it was ok for her to take her top off in the hot tub but she didn't take off her bottoms because that would be slutty
so apparently telling her she could shit easier and therefore lose weight faster wasn't the best arguement for getting anal.
He's trying to wipe up all the spilled drinks with a banana
He DELETED brick breaker off his blackberry why even bother trying to find something in common?
he was banged his ex for coke the whole time and is still the best guy so far this year. standards need to be raised.
Some might say its sad that I am willingly picking up a coke habit to be the skinniest bridesmaid... I think it shows my great dedication and proves I should have been maid of honor.
I watched you fall asleep, sitting up, eating a cinnamon roll. You proceeded to wake up...smile at your cinnamon roll, ask it how it got into your hand and then began eating it again. You asked me if you were ridiculous last night, define ridiculous.
In honor of Sarah Palin's bday I suggest we watch Nailing Palin
i actually texted him "nice to see you" but then there was a saved draft "i think about you when i get off." dodged that bullet...
Today I'm playing this game called how physically long can I Lay in this one spot before moving, do you have an estimated time of departure?
He was like 120 lbs and 20 of that was penis
i don't know what happened one minute im stumbling home drunk and the next im drinking pabst and smoking with a french guy ive never met named hugo.
i woke up on the floor in front of the fireplace and my last google search was "fuck sponges"
I'm at the fucking ritz Carlton and I would leave here to cuddle with her. Not even fuck, just cuddle. What th hell is wrong with me?
I think it's called love, bro
My dad just invited me to smoke a blunt with him. Parent-child bonding at its finest (and highest).
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