no, there's no challenge. I live a humble lifestyle out of virtue.
You wear Armani Exchange.
I fell asleep with crest white strips on and ate one...
i just used shampoo as lube. why? because i'm worth it.
I need to write the inventor of adderall a thank you note stapled to a copy of my degree
you told grandpa to call you daddy
Dude I swear I heard "geet out!!!" when I went down on her. I shouldve listened.
You gave the cab driver your pants as collateral while you ran in the house for money.
we've got reservations. ask for the eat a bag of dicks table
He needs to respect me before he can fuck me with cat ears on.
Eric and I just went in the hallway to practice our new handshake in a real life situation at live speeds. That high.
Pretending to be completely fried so the odd girl next to me doesnt suspect im simply staring at her.
Oh hey. I left my beer there. Beer is more important than my pride. I want to pick that up.
Hey. My eyes swollen shut and I can't find my shoes. How was your night?
We just got busted fucking in the hammock by his roommate...I'm so out of here as soon as hes asleep....
About to wash down a xan with an iced pumpkin spiced latte from starbs and I feel like I've never lived up to my stereotype so much at one time
Randomize
