Her parents hate her and she's on like major lockdown. All her friends are in jail and she has massive pit stains. Dude... It doesn't get much worse than that.
I just bought a CD. I feel like a traitor to my generation.
he saw my boobs and came all over himself... there goes my whole night.
After he came he asked what I was doing for thanksgiving.
Without me, you would never be able to say you partied with a midget!
All I remember was endless tequila and pulling karate moves from 3 Ninjas Kick Back towards the guy at 7 Eleven. Explanation?
Yea there's blood all over the porch but we wont have to buy alcohol for the rest of the week
I just want to eat and sleep til I'm dead. I should've been born a cat.
I wish I was there to have sex with you on the plane to lessen your anxiety.
That's the nicest thing anyone has over said to you.
Just had my very first high conversation with mom
And you survived it! I'd say that earns you a "Blaze It Like a Real Adult" from the Grown-up Girl Scouts
Not sure when or why this happened but I just stopped giving a shit about everything
I've never been to an orgy, but I would assume nachos wouldn't be out of the question at one.
I'm a terrible person when I drink. I went from fine to not making any sense and yelling about cheese in like 30 seconds.
No, it's okay that he's on a date. I attach no more emotion to him than I do my vibrator.
tell him if he brings over dinner you might let him see your left boob...or right, whichever you prefer. But under no circumstances do you let him see both...unless he brings a good desert...like coffee ice cream or something
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