I wish I could tape me & him having sex. Not for pornographic reasons, just for comic relief.
doesn't matter. i just recorded the power rangers theme song on my phone. and its loud. was thinking we could use it as our entrance song as we walk into bars.
Dude, can't find my socks anywhere....
Yeah, you took a shit in the harbor off a wall, used them to wipe. I'm sure they're still on the beach somewhere if you really want them back
Fran... I put my tongue in somebody's gage hole last night.
I no longer see him as a simple set of male genitalia attached to a very sexy body. The title "trophy fuck" seems wrong. Damn.
That's the fall semester you first snorted drugs off my ass I think
I thought my ass was sore from the gym then I realized it was from being spanked. Confusing time in my life.
I told you you to bring something to share....you brought tequila and a condom
but I truly enjoy making out with my best friend more than my boyfriend
Apparently I was drunk enough to call he police station and ask if there was a problem with me.
THIS IS EXACTLY WHY YOU SHOULDA FUCKED BEFORE YOU MADE HIM YOUR BOYFRIEND, CURVED DICKS ARE NOT OK
Last night I drank three beers and threw up in a tree house. I am ashamed.
on one hand I spent like $120 last night..on the other that was the best sex of my life
woke up, covered in gummy bears, with a note that said "the gummy army won"
I know you want to take a pregnancy test, but could you wait until Sunday so it doesn't ruin our weekend
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