I think id rather eat ped egg shavings.
and you tried to get a free burrito from Potbelly's
Just watched my manager erase "we've been 2 days wo an accident" and change it to "0" these ppl are too high.
her facebook's as public as her vagina
i think im the only person who makes thank you cards for their drug dealer
he's drinking at 8 in the morning. it's going to be one of those "or else the terrorists have won" kinda days
he sent me this 10 second long video of a gorilla eating a banana on my phone. no explanation. I didn't even have his number. just. a gorilla eating a banana.
He kept insisting that I was going to have an orgasm but it just felt like he was rubbing sand paper on my vagina
sooo....i just remembered that someone fed me a pretzel out of their purse at the bar last night.
It's the first day of summer. It's not a race it's a marathon. Pace yourself
How many trips to the liquor store in a week constitutes alcoholism?
Think of all the island guys I could have. Ah well.
You can not bait me into a "how Stella got her groove back" call and response.
I woke up today in my boxers hugging a log and realized that I think I've gotten close enough to nature. I really need to stop doing shrooms with you
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
You came in, yelled 'i am from the future' then puked all over the floor
Randomize
