you just stared at your feet and said some shit about the molecules dancing and how you had just solved physics.
All I need in life is some dick and a big mac.
i really should have bought real food rather than condoms, olives, coleslaw and beer...
He went bowling in his bathroom.. And shattered the toilet.
you also choked him out with your legs on the kitchen floor..
currently wearing a football players overly sized underwear. discovered a shot count on my leg. I'm a tank hahahhh
He ate me out on the balcony. My asian neighbors cats are judging me...ALL 3 OF THEM!!
you shall refer to me as my indian name from now on...running with dumb cunts
"So you think you can dance" turned into "so you think you can run and slide across the bar"...Jack Daniels wins
He wanted to drink hypnotic from my butt crack. I need to move out this state.
Just found out i over drew my checking account on a 711 hot dog
Do u remember buying that
I remember eating it on the curb like a drunken hobo
He was just lying in his underwear like a present. I had to unwrap it.
I had a dream that I had to take a breathalyzer but then it turned out to be a bong....why can't that be real life?
Sex is always the answer.
Especially if the question is: what have I not had this year?
Yeah, but having a dick this size has ruined 3 marriages.
Randomize
