I never noticed this but I have a beauty mark on my labia minora
Please tell me how you discovered this.
I was looking in the mirror snooping around
dude, she has braces
i meant the dude w the ponytail.
i was less creeped out when i thought you were talking about the 14 y.o.
The mall is playing a fucking country mix of lady marmalade.
welcome to maine.
Eating a girl out that was just in the ocean does not make her taste like saltwater taffy
"So you think you can dance" turned into "so you think you can run and slide across the bar"...Jack Daniels wins
The only thing keeping me calm right now is pretending to chop off everyone's heads when using the paper cutter
Don't worry, I'm preparing for tonight by lining my purse with a garbage bag.
Should I tell this TSA agent his fly is down while he is trying to hit on this chick?
Halfway through the night I was hiding in a trashcan. Then I "sobered" up and ran around the house throwing change because I wanted to make my last moments of 2013 charitable.
That pizza at 1 am literally tasted like I was eating an angel
I'd call the fact I ended up in my own bed a huge success
I'm eating chicken wings naked and hungover at 10am... Happy bday to me
If you fucking touch my phone and text people, drunk or sober, ever again, i will shove a swizle stick up your pee hole.
EMERGENCY SUBJECT CHANGE. SHE DOESN'T KNOW.
Jesus christos I come home and am treated like my vagina is made of gold
Either that or it dispenses candy
Randomize
