I'm stoned in an empty parking lot listening to dave matthews while looking for a lighter.... I feel like I sent this 7 years ago.
Just threw up in a trash can by the ATM. Then pulled out money for weed.
My epitaph should read "Margaritas: she never learned"
you came downstairs saying you were now 'dressed to impress'
what was i wearing?
nothing
No it was the best sex I've had in months. Nothing turns me on more than getting rid of a boyfriend.
Just realized Ive had sex in or around each thing listed in Green Eggs and Ham besides the fox.
posting about faith hill is really not helping you get me into your bed
I told him to just roll me a blunt and put it in a heart shaped box.
I didn't realize how trashy of a night we had.
Welllll, you did eat a cherry out of my pussy. So I think that classes it up a little.
good news: i got laid. bad news: by your boyfriend
You handed me an unpeeled grapefruit off the frat basement floor and then took a bite out of it.
so I'm walking to my last final while opening my giant red bull and i look over to my right and the guy beside me had one too and was looking back at me. without missing a beat he pulls out a bottle of jager, pours half in mine, half in his and goes "cheers"....i'm not even mad i probably failed my final
Certain restrictions may apply. Common side effects of sex with me include unbridled joy, a healthy glow, soreness and the inability to walk for short to long amounts of time. If any of these side effects occur please consult your physician, so he/she can prescribe me a "high-five".
false alarm, still single
Having random cyber sex while watching to catch a predator just seems wrong.
Randomize
