Just got a lecture from Dad about how I need to be more responsible and start buying my weed in larger quantities so that i can save money. Like he was serious and kind of disappointed in me for not adapting to his method earlier.
i felt obligated to tell him happy birthday since we trashed his house and i fucked his friend in his basement
New major. Tourism Management. I dont know what it is but it sounds like something all the stupid slutty failed business management majors do.
At what point should i just give my brother a break and stop sleeping with his friends?
Also, that dude projectile vomiting all over the living room was the perfect distraction for me to swipe the booze and run.
Give me one reason I shouldn't put the phrase "sex emotions" into my essay.
No.
Your friends turned off our power in the basement and when we went to turn it back on I got sprayed in the face with a fire extinguisher. FYI.
Should I take my grandma to a keg tomorrow or not? Serious question
I spent half an hours grinding with a drunk Harry Potter cosplayer at the con rave. Pretty sure I felt his wand.
I seriously want to say to him "Do you know how many blow jobs you could have gotten this summer?"
Saw 2 lesbians fist fighting outside the bar tonight. I was startled yet slightly turned on
I walked a mile in this weather wearing nothing but a toga. Zero fucks. Your move Mother Nature.
I pretty much just wake up, masturbate at least twice, and go to the beach. #Unemployed. I do look for jobs in between all that tho.
Kinda suprised you didn't immediately ask about the lesbian ghosts tho
eating pizza to get the taste of dick out my mouth wby
Randomize
