Just used the D.E.N.N.I.S system successfully.
You only like me because I'm a challenge
You already blew me
Wow, being the totally hot and slutty looking 30 year old lady on the dance floor does NOT necessarily mean that she has skills in bed.
I just saw a girl walk by me wearing a "kiss me I'm pro choice" shirt. Is that a signal for easy access?
I don't know where my bra went.
Welll you ran into the street, took it off and yelled "I'm a free woman!". And then you threw it at some homeless guy.
He kept trying to order 'sex on the tennis courts' for a drink last night
Not much, just your average college male Sunday cleaning period blood out of the carpet.
Tell me you're kidding.
Besides scarred, I'm not much of anything right now.
Well, it's hard to say. Last night he puked a perfect circle around him on the floor, and then sat in it insisting it would protect him from the smoke monster. He's was still there last time I checked.
Listen I know you hate her for what she did but this is getting our of hand. Please please tell me where you hid her wedding dress.
Okay now that I've been wanting to eat these hot cheetos in the bathroom, I know it's time I need to stop smoking and go to sleep.
I just peed on a rich man's lawn fuck yeah America
I'm going to preface tonight by saying that I'm sorry for tequila, shopping carts, and having to chase me.
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
I had to join a gym to keep up with this 22 yr old
This is not okay. I only like one boy. I should like 200 boys and be having wild unprecedented sex. Instead I like one boy whose a born again virgin.
Randomize
