Good news! Whoever used this stall at Target earlier...not pregnant!
theres a dog humping me and im not going to stop it... i really need to get laid.
Was just hit on by a guy with 2 kids and one was named Rocky. I need to get out of Buena Park.
Haha he acted like he's never seen a tampon catapolt across the hall before
All semester I have been trying to figure out if this kid in front of me is gay. His cell phone just went off with Britney's "Circus". Case closed.
i just drank the rest of the vodka . Btw why did we put candy corn in it?
did i walk over a car last night?
Just hit a cone using a lit sparkler. Tastes like I might die but it was magical.
well other than the faint smell of fireworks in the truck you can't really tell the windshield was exploded
You would be too ashamed to ever love me again if you saw the filth I just created. It brings unspeakable dishonor to the nacho dynasty. Like I raped the king's daughter, cut off her hands and made him eat them that's how hard I fucked up nachos.
I really resent how she stayed home and ruined my plans to watch sci-fi and masturbate.
I couldn't sleep so I took 4 shots of vodka and promptly threw up in the sink. Happy Thursday
ATTENTION PENIS' OF BURLINGTON: I AM COMING FOR YOU
Worst way to find out I have a half sister
You walked in on us hooking up, hugged me, high fived him and unhooked my bra.. You claimed to be helping
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