Best walk of shame ever. Not only did I not remember his name or the fact that we fucked, they all watched as I tried to get into 3 cars that werent mine
Oh and I threw up on myself...
her name was charlotte except you kept calling her chatroulette and yelling at her to show you her boobs
She was that classic mixture between "Hell no" and "Why the fuck not."
Goldfish can't live in a bowl filled with tequila, lesson learned.
this is probably the only time in my life that i would want to fuck thomas jefferson
nope. It turned out i wasnt the drunkest person asleep in tacobell parking lot.
So apparently I ended up throwing my clothes in the toilet after getting kicked out of TQ and ran around the neighborhood in my boxers. Works gonna suck hard once this hangover kicks in. Also: I lost a shoe so looks like flipflops for the rest of winter
I thought I was smashed last night but the girl trying to pee in the fridge had me beat. True story.
YET AGAIN, my financial planning for 2013 consists MOSTLY of eating chipotle as "brain food" and drinking Heavily before the Jeopardy contestant test.
why do all the dudes in this porno look like billy ray cyrus
Oh my god there are animals here. There are actusal animals trying to get him. A giraffe is trying to get in. A giraffee is trying to get in. Is ridiculouss.
My Dicks been hard all day. Poor guy isn't used to vacation being over
If she gets mad at me, that only means more free time for me. I like to put myself I win win situations. Despite being in a relationship, I still find ways to accomplish my goals.
im gonna shove his purity ring down his throat
He said he would get me a helmet and bedazzle it with my name and address so the cabs would know where to take me
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