This girl is more easily done than said...
I'll write directions out on a napkin and slip it to him. Then say P.S. The UTI is gone.... that's not creepy at all right?
rather than putting your name in guys phones, you just texted 90999 to donate $10 to Haiti and then gave it back to them
Due to our sore throats we are now doing bong hits with cranberry juice to sooth it.
There is nothing like getting stoned and spying on people with binoculars
2 out of 3 people here lost their shoes. America.
I may be in the process of acquiring a second male fuck buddy and dating a girl....FUCKING STOP THE TRAIN I'M ON! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!!
Glad to know I rate above a cabbage on the parenting scale.
He got me a cake that said " Congratulations on the dick "
Either she's trying to smother me and failing, or she just has a really bad sense of where her tits should go.
He gave me the choice between a threeway with his best friend or a tiny turtle. Unfortunately I chose the threeway.
I just walked out topless, stared his brother straight in the eye, and ate all the rest of their cookie dough.
You don't know weird until you've had a musical wet dream about your older brother.
I'm more heavily invested in that tequila than you are
We were peeing side by side on the riverbank together and I felt like nothing brings you closer than drunken riverbank urinating so I caught her a friendship frog to wipe with since we left the tp in the canoe.
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