too bad they don't have a 'people you may be able to do' thing on facebook. it would save me a lot of fucking time.
I have big tits. Rules don't apply to me.
i got totally wasted at 2pm and cleaned the house bc i was bored. my mom now supports my alcohol problem
I knew as soon as I saw that pole that I was going to wake up the next morning with bruises.
I think my uterus is still laying in your bed somewhere under the covers.
People have been asking me if I'm going to the reunion lately. It occurs to me that everyone wants me there to feel that much better about themselves.
I have bruises from doing the splits on the poles, if that doesn't scream bourbon street regret then I don't know what does
Why do I have a vague memory of your entire fraternity climbing in through my bedroom window?
Do you know how much wine is in a box of wine? Not so much an amount, but whether it will kill me if I drink the entire box this xmas
Apparently she almost had an affair at Outback Steakhouse, details to follow when I get home but the apple really doesn't fall far from the tree
the police report says i screamed sanctuary from a jungle gym at the playground when they caught up with us, obviously they disregarded international law.
Last night I had a sex dream about Trudeau, he hasn't even been prime minister for 24 hours
I have got to move on from this "sleeping with every drug dealer I meet" phase.
So my plane's delayed and some guy is talking to "sparkles" he just told her to never again sell drinks from her cleavage. This is why I don't go home
I swear I'm an adult. I say as I send my mom to go find me green lucky charms and lady gaga oreos
Randomize
