so my bro's bff came over...we had an awkward "yeah we fucked and can fuck later, but let's just pretend it didn't happen in front of the family" hug.
i watch way too much csi for them to even pretend to be my friend.
An eyelash just fell out into my container of rice. Searching for it, i took a single piece of rice out at a time coming to the coclusion that i should not be this high while eating rice.
I actually kind of like the booze poos. It's like a colon cleanse. I feel skinnier.
you drank 3/4s of your half gallon of vodka, made a fort out of the kitchen table, and actaually had sex in in it.
Thanks for the drunken voicemail of bird calls. Love and miss you, too.
Just found a wrench in the washing machine. Sooo not doing your laundry anymore.
I don't remember anything past "we have 15 minutes to drink this keg."
Eating an ice cream sandwich while your little bro gets me weed. May I adopt him?
He woke up in a dragon costume, covered in bong water. That was a party we will regret missing.
In the future, could you not call me 'bro' while we're having sex?
I'm a lady. Ladies do NOT hump the floor.
Just come home. We will have sex and Taco Bell. I'm feeling wild, I put on temporary tattoos.
Where is Holly?
Nevermind. i can hear her having sex two doors down
She stripped naked and ran around the outside of the house while I stood by the tent holding her clothes shouting "come back" because I was too drunk to chase her. This is why we can't have nice things.
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