You guys coming?
We are smoking out the bouncer? But after that sure
Yeah apparently i got lonely because everyone was hooking up so i took matters into my own hands. I woke up on the floor spooning a vaccuum cleaner, a mop, 40 paper cups, and industrial grade detergent.
oh my god. the driver of our party bus just said "no drugs unless you're sharin," my confidence in him is not high at the moment
A worker across the alley is wearing your sombrero sans cat barf.
He might have if you were a little more subtle about your feelings instead of telling everyone multiple times how much you wanted his dick
She interrupted us having sex in the tent by threatening to kill us if we "got cum on the lasanga."
Someone asked me what I was drinking, I was drinking rum, but I was also eating starbursts so i told them "daiquiris"
It sounds like drunken magic sprinkled w narcotics
We were escorted through the guys dorm by 5 kids with nerf guns and zelda shields. I felt like the president with a fucked up secret service squad.
He referred to our sex as being similar to "Two cheetahs cage fighting" and I have to agree.
I just don't understand why your parents aren't supporting your dreams of being a medieval weapon smith.
Idk. The bad part of me thinks it's a good idea. The bad part is also the stupid part.
I just had to explain my bite marks to my allergy doctor when she gave me my shots...You're the best <3
It's a shame, really, because he's got the cock of a horse... And the personality of dry toast.
We free pour in this house. Measuring alcohol is for the weak
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