Who goes to Church hungover
Those who weren't lucky enough to go still drunk
She told you broke her computer after the little square in tetris wouldn't rotate for you...
My roommate has every episode of Full House. I'm going to fail my midterm tomorrow.
I can't remember where my feet are. All I can see are colors, and all I can feel is terror. The lollipop was a bad idea.
why would you automatically assume i'm high...
you just told me you're eating the powder of a lemonade mix.
Sorry there's no emoticon for I got my period all over a guy's bed so I had to improvise. There isn't even a bed one
You told the cashier at McDonald's not to smell the ones cause you had just got back from the strip club. Good deed.
I just shit my pants and had a heart attack. Simultaneously. May or may not be related to this game.
I'm dying. The alcohol is viciously exiting my tiny body.
I also got a mission for you and you're gonna love it. Biggest. Hospital. Party. Ever.
Had the best sex Thursday night then Friday night I met his girlfriend. The worst thing is we became friends like she gave me her number.
my grandpa paid for my boob job but he just doesn't know it.
I just got his Save the Dave and, to answer your next question, NO I AM NOT GOING TO THE WEDDING OF THE GUY WHO GOT DRUNK AND CAME ON MY CHEST.
She's high and screaming MEREDITH IS A WHORE
Emergency. I brought a boy home and we fell asleep, but I just woke up to him peeing against my bedroom wall. So I brought him to the bathroom but he fell over and he's sleeping in the tub. Can I leave him there? Because that's what I've done.
Better the hardwood than the carpet, right?
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