If it was for sex do you really think i would asking for a mass vote? I'm like fidel castro when it comes to sex. No public approval needed.
Everything about him screamed your future.
Dude, a dry wedding reception should nullify the vows, because really, without the booze, you might as well be 5 years old again and playing dress-up
When I came home you were using a glowstick to eat peanut butter from the jar.
i love you. like a brother. a brother that i had sex with more than once.
it will be an insanely irresponsible summer.the only things i plan on not doing are dying and getting pregnant.and even those are negotiable
she never specifically said NOT to fuck her boyfriend so technically we can still be best friends
Hey, it's Thrasher! From the hospital!
I almost got on a bus to Langley Air Force Base. 99% sure that's not where I wanna be.
Then, right before he came he said "I want to buy you so many things!" What the fuck?!
Your boobs stole my birthday thunder!
WHY DID HE INTRODUCE ME TO HIS MOM? CAN'T HE JUST HIDE ME LIKE EVERYONE ELSE I'VE EVER DATED?@!
How did the date go? No fake eyeballs this time?
I'm pretty sure the rest of my evening will consist of masturbating, drinking tequila and watching children's movies.
Come by so you can take a pregnancy test with me. It's like my monthly ritual!
Randomize
