does wine, beer, and vodka mix well??
dude, everything can mix, this is college.
I feel like I shouldn't be doing my banking stoned. But I bought a new bowl. Her name is Sharpe. Pronounced Shar-Pay.
I just had some guy offer to eat me out on my lunch break... I think single life is getting better everyday
Its what im here for. Critiquing penis photos.
I don't remember anything that happened last night past 10.. I made him buy me a Buckeye's Donut tshirt. I have no idea why he'd want to fuck me after that.
this speak and spell drinking game will be the death of us all.
I have discovered my latent superpower. If a friend is dating a bi chick they will inevitably try and talk me into a threesome.
I don't know, I kept pretending that I was riding an elephant during. It was actually really fun, but you can't tell him that!
Ask me who hasn't showered since Sunday and just got cruised at the gas station on his way to work. I'm a terrible gay.
Where was Alyssa when you were sniffing the bouncer?
Passed out on some guy who looked like someone from Duck Dynasty.
We just saw two bitche in pink capris jazzercising down the road. On Thanksgiving.
You either got a dog, or you have a boy over. I can't tell from the noises which it is.
So, i might have left my morals back in 2011.
Just got an email from match.com trying to match me with My ex..I nearly pissed myself laughing
so he found out i have him as "average size" in my phone. fair to say we arnt going to be dating anymore
Randomize
