Do you think he likes his girlfriend's moustache?
seems the shocker is way more shocking if u get the fingers wrong
I'm just trying to think of how much money Little Debbie would make if pot was legalized.
I asked her if she wanted to make this a permanent exclusive thing instead of a fuck buddy thing, and she just looked at me like I'm an idiot.
That's because you are an idiot.
I just tried to sell my homemade "lightning bolt stencil for pubes" on Etsy.
Apparently I've been blackout drunk doing abstract algebra on the floor
Also, upon examining the photos, I have concluded that you were the sloppiest drunk girl of the night. And that's saying something considering Hurricane Jessica was in town.
I found three vicadin and a pint of fireball with the note. In case of emergency drink me under their sink.
I'm still pretty drunk right now, but when this hangover hits me, I'm going to be super pissed. It's a preemptive never drinking again.
It's like... Even my horoscope knows I had an awkward threesome last night.
We're eating jello shots in the library. I love the day after Valentine's
Yeah but if you conceived a child on a park slide that would be pretty awesome
Somehow i instagrammed my acceptance letter while blacked out. Then my grandma was the first to comment on it. I got over 50 likes....Phd here I come....
That kid singlehandedly fucked the breakup right out of me. I'm only hooking up with Millenials from here on out.
Security showed up because apparently we were fucking too loud.
As your roommate I can attest that y'all do indeed fuck rather loudly
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