i felt like we were having sex on ultimate fighter, and people on the outside kept yelling ELBOW ELBOW! KNEES KNEES!
Her boobs were tiny. I could have used her bra as a blind fold. Which in hindsight would have made things a lot better.
you were saying "i am the vodka queen!" and then in a different voice replying to yourself "all hail the vodka queen! you are so beautiful!"
no seriously, she's legit pissed i'm late to lunch because i was watching full house. there's obviously no future here.
Had sex five times today because there was nothing else to do. I had no idea snow days could get even better than when we were kids
I was fingering her, she was moaning, and we were singing Mulan
You mean the girl who was passed out face down on the bathroom floor until 10 AM? You're right, she was cute.
Remember how I haven't seen my step sister in like 7 years? Pretty sure I just made out with her...
You got Broadway Drunk, dude. I haven't heard you sing "Music Of The Night" like that since the last time I was holding you up on the way to the subway at two in the morning.
You can't say "my boobs are wonderful" and not expect my drunken subconscious to focus on wanting to see them. Btw-can I see them?
reason #1 why i should never live alone: i haven't put pants on since she left 26 hours ago. and ive made spaghetti 3 times.
Well drunk me was looking out for sober me again, hid the beer and bought another case for me
We're starting to light shit on fire, bring a metal bucket. Be prepared, Jimmy's off his meds.
What did you do with the dog when you went into the club?
coat checked
I prefer to think of hangovers as extreme sobriety, which can only be cured by more booze
Randomize
