Just mADE A PArabola og urine
this is the second time this summer that a girl has called me a ken dol
you shouldn't let them see you without your pants on
I want to do you till i cant cum anymore. Till all i get is a little flag that says "bang".
you were so high you spent the rest of the night smelling pepper to prove you can sneeze with your eyes open
I'm so hungover even the car commercials make me nauseas
I just got sparklers from my secret santa. Drunken sledding just got to a whole new level of dangerous
Let's just say for some reason we thought it was okay to make a burrito smoothie.
I had sex on an exercise ball. The inevitable has occurred.
Someone apparently named 'eleaw' just text me asking if I had fun last night.
Some guy just bought a handle of cuervo, a curling iron, and a power drill. Paid with a jar of change. I'm torn between avoiding him and befriending him..
Came back with a random sweatshirt, an American flag, and a for sale sign. Mission success?
Dude he took a shit in the lake and it just floated around and lingered near our boat for 2 hours. I fucking hate that kid
Do we have to do this party tonight? I'm worried my bed will miss me...
You need to stop showing people the things i drunk-text to you... i have a reputation to uphold here
just saw the most amazing side boob. i wanted to hold it.
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