Why. Ill be the rabbit if ull be the carrot.
the family i'm sitting with looks like the Addams family. Except for the daughter...she looks like Shrek
I just met the 30 percent of the population with an STD
Ohh god. I'm so nervous. This is terrible. He just introduced me as "the best girlfriend of his life" and Jenny as his "sexual roomate"
Its not even 10am and we are talking about what guys assholes we would finger.
They just caught the deck on fire and I ran out with cups off the beer pong table filled with water from the toilet. It was the closest water source.
Just did lines off your face, congrats on getting in the magazine bro
Call me when you get off. I have stories about black lesbians in jail begging to braid my hair...
And dildos are 35% off. So. Ya know. Savings.
I have no idea. But I feel like I could climb a mountain and then have sex on it.
The fact that I took a nap during my midterm shows exactly how I handle being an adult
And my nipple is sore from him biting it. That is not a complaint.
these past three weeks have been a real "fuck you" to my liver
why is there glitter IN my vagina????
Don't drink and try to take a shower. I thought I was drowning
Randomize
