Went to gas station for smokes. three cops pulled in. got gas i didn't need. found diff gas station.
good choice.
his ringtone is the jonas brothers. get me the fuck out of here NOW.
There is now a Twilight themed dildo. What do YOU want for christmas??
I bet they don't have a scenario slide on how to deal with a suggested three way with counsel during harassment training.
the only sentence i could make out from her was "i will wash these herpes away"
Never again will we have slut saturday. Never.
The bartender gave me a roll of masking tape so I could tape my heels to my feet so I wouldn't lose them when i went drunk running later that night
I told him that his face would look perfect between my legs. One of my most successful strategies yet.
I feel as though sleeping all day due to the effects of prescription painkillers paid for by union insurance made this the most American day ever for me
Ok cuz s'mores night just turned into pina colada after noon and it will be mas fun
Your grammar in that last text message was so awful.. My vagina wants to go crawl in a hole, and never speak to you again.
She moaned the name on my fake id during sex, that or she's cheating on me with someone named Victor
You have to give it to him that he fucked me out of the dull weekdays.
the cop found his r2d2 bong and asked me if i ever smoked out of him. i'm like, no sir. he's like ahh. if i were to smoke, it'd definitely be out of some star wars character.
easily made my night.
Pretty sure this radio station is run by a cult. Good thing it's in Spanish, can't brainwash someone who can't understand you.
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