He disabled his match.com account in front of me
Go to google and type XXX
.......Is that how you look for porn?
if you find a joe biden blowup doll in the attic, I call dibs
woke up to moans and hushed"we can't do this with him in here." hope they had a good time
i could't wear that belt anymore, it was gonna make me keep shitting for the rest of the night
you were the first one he came out to and you announced it as the finale while singing karaoke at the bar
Law school is ruining my masturbation schedule.
you kept looking at stripers and saying " Go to College"
just had to sit in the middle of an aisle in stop and shop because we're too hungover and needed to take a break.
Actually some of the best sex I've had involved a lot of laughing.
How small IS your cock?
Someone explain why I'm twerking in my bathroom right now before a charity run
we fucked and then he hand fed me a hot pocket
It's my birthday weekend! I'm getting a Brazilian and he's going to fucking Arkansas. Where the fuck are his priorities?
I'm not getting off this floor. I love this floor
The guy I blew who bought us all the shots last night? I really think he's the TV guy I'm watching give the local weather. Like right now.
Randomize
