6 figure salary? he just got a little cuter.
i need gas-x and some way to take back every single thing i did last night.
I wish my mouth had a period so that could be my excuse on those days I don't feel like giving head
just came on the shower curtain. sorry housekeeping.
i just witnessed two asians having sex for the first time ten feet away from me..hes having a seizure..what the duck is going on???
He said he's was gunna give me some pain meds. I'm not sure what they are but I just gave him a thumbs up
I've never seen the starbucks guy more terrified than when you dove out the car window after your credit card
and i think wearing the clothes from last night are out of the question...was there mud wrestling there? because i look like a participated..with a cat.
Fuck I am so excited for the first time I can make someone call me Doctor Nikki during sex after I finish my PhD
So do you remember the bartender that caught me when I fell off the bar 4 weeks ago? He hasn't been to work since...Woops.
well at least you didn't have your nipples chewed last night
I think you're my feminist conscience sometimes.
He unliked all of my pictures on instagram, I don't know whats worse, the fact that he did it or the fact that I noticed..
so he'll eat food out of a dumpster but he won't lick your ass?
Hey Girl, we got home safe!
I know, I drove you
Randomize
