you think the cum will come out of moms black shirt?
I told him I would sleep with him if he could name all the colors of the wind.
you tried to clear everyones facebook status so that yours would be the only one on everyones home page
I heard a loud ass thump and then I saw both dogs coming around the corner.... Without him. I went to check out what happened and the dogs apparently pulled him down onto his face, knocking him out.
There is a nerf war going on here. I just cleaned the blood out of the fridge
He said he wanted to have butt sex with me and curl up with me after and just be near me. Then he passed out.
I'm not liking this ratio of moving to blowjobs...
I'm not drinking cause I'm like 4 vodkas away from a boom box and Peter Gabriel.
College is a time for personal growth. Meaning it's time to start using those pickup lines on randos at dive bars.
At orientation, some girl is asking, loudly, where she can get weed. Everyone looks discussed but are paying very close attention to people's answers.
My vagina was just really confused why you weren't inside it
So the day after the 4th I'm sitting here drinking Molson and watching NHL free agent frenzy. From patriotic American to drunken Canadian in 24 hours flat. Booyah.
Im like a hedgehog. Easy to corner or get within reach, but tough to get right close to. Like a rooster with its feathers surgically replaced with razors
I was wondering why are people staring at me til I realized I was bra-less with a lei around my neck
with the way the semester is going, being a stripper is starting to sound better and better everyday
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