...is it true? will i see you next weekend
YES.
ah, i can't wait till there's negative 2 inches between us
I just remembered we were doing butt clenching exercising with bar straws last night
I cant believe that bitch gave me herpes. she said those bumps were just a part of the natural landscape
wait, did she really refer to her vagina as a landscape?
why are you more concerned about her word choice than the fact that I HAVE FUCKING HERPES
He is going overseas for 8 months, not only was that blowjob a going away present, but i was supporting the troops
CANT TOUCH THIS JUST CAME ON MY IPOD. LOVE STEVE JOBS
the night got glorious when you tried to do an upside down keg stand with a near empty key and dropped it on your face
So I'm drinking wine and watching Thumbelina
I'm teaching my cat to play fetch
Yep, it's a friday
Some Russian dude just came up to us and I'm pretty sure he offered his girlfriend to have sex for 80 bucks. Whoever said porn movies were unrealistic.
My eyes feel like they're throwing up and I am the only human on campus
Hey mom, soo do we have a family lawyer or am I on my own for that?
But is that really the name you want to scream out during climax?
You told me that they girl who was giving you a handjob under the table looked a little like your sister
quickly learned not to sleep with your roommate and work colleague in the same week
Im wearing black today mourning the orgasm i couldn't get this morning :(
What did you give up for lent?
Diet and excersize. And I'm never going back...
Randomize
