She looks like an uncircumcised penis in a hat.
Just burped. Tasted like beer and cherios...Beerios. This is gonna be quite a day.
The old saying is "its not the size of the boat-- but the motion of the ocean" is obviously for those on the "Small side." I am of the belief that "You can't churn butter with a toothpick"
you yelled that ur labia majora was swollen at 3 am in the dorm hallway
I'm eating lunch next to a table of beautiful culturally-diverse women chattering away happily. It's like sitting next to a Yaz commercial.
i would hope so, cause i don't think 'i drove off the road because i was getting some head' is covered in insurance
You told me alcohol would be the death of you then ordered 10 shots of tequila.
I'm beginning to think I'm sterile because I definitely should be pregnant by now.
Judging by her face, I'd say she's at least dabbled with meth...
You slow danced with your carpet steamer last night.
i dont care. it has been a 14 hour day, and we are all celebrating by alternating shots and grilled cheese.
If this outfit doesn't get me pregnant tonight I don't know what will...
dude you had a hot girl interested and took shots together, as soon as it went down the hatch you upchucked on her entire existance..
successful birthday. 2012 rules
The hospital waiting room is starting to become a very familiar place to me.
last night I mixed vodka in with my protein shake... and you tell me my new years resolution was impossible
Randomize
