I fucked a guy named chris tucker last night
You realize if you die tommorow, the last memory i'll ever have of you is your ballsack on skype
Apparently having him hold an open book in front of me while i'm blowing him doesn't count as studying...
When the tupperware hit the highway it was like a vomit bomb
im calling her cock vulture from now on
Ive waited a long time for a girl with prescriptions like yours.
You can identity the picture as me the mistress his wife and him. It's that kinda awkard.
I just saw a guy in a sombrero and holding an inflated blow-up doll in all her "glory" get escorted out of the mall. I hate Marley.
if you didn' use the plastic sword on the cop. maybe this wouldn't have happened.
Also, even though this really sucks now, we will look back on this one day and laugh at the time we all got arrested on Thanksgiving
The cop actually kicked the bitches out of the cab so we could get ours. I flipped them all off as the door was shutting. That drunk.
I'm throwing in the towel on today. The puke gods have won this war
Security has videotape of her blowing the boss against his car. Don't they know he entire parking lot is under video surveillance?
I was going to be upset with you on moral grounds but then i realized free chocolate was involved
I was too hungover to sit up and pull the curtains closed so I did it with my toes
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