Wow, you were right... Weed does start conversations
MISSING: One left eyebrow. Reward if returned.
What a great world we live in when USPS can tell you that your drugs have been delivered.
it felt like i was a kid in an empty playground. i fucked him on every piece of furniture in the house and then when his housemates showed up i was naked in his bed like i'd been there all along.
Don't worry we will all be making bad decisions soon
That's the most comforting thing I've heard in months
Well I blew a guy I barely know in full view of a homeless camp. That's pretty tame for me.
We need large glitter to throw at people to signify our mystic nature
Fuck their feelings and their drinks they will get hit with sparkly confetti
I made him fuck me with my coat zipped up and a unicorn mask on. That level of drunk sex. Weird and creepy yet highly satisfying.
I have an ideal penis or slightly above ideal penis in every country that isn't ruined by the specter of communism
New guy moved in the apartment next door. He's a combat vet, 6'4", Adonis body and going to med school. My vagina is chewing thru the wall as we speak.
While strippers were eating ones out of my boobs, several sources claimed trump shared classified info with the russians. We should get hammered on Mondays more often, bitch.
sober me thinks like you do. drunk me needs sober me's advice. am i allowed to go to his house?
thats all i want out of life, to get high and watch weiner dog races
He makes bad life choices and drives a wagon, how is that not my type?
he was really really nice, and I did coke off of his dong that night too
Randomize
