I would do horrible things to your vagina.
Prove it.
I've come to accept that no matter where I step in our apartment, your underwear will be there.
My neighbor asked me to tell you to stop changing in front of their house. Do I even want to know?
At the end of the white elephant exchange, our professor had a big black dildo around her neck and I won a full body dinosaur suit. I could die tomorrow with no regrets.
I'm in Starbucks carrying the boxes wine and the hubcap. So many judging looks.
I tried to force my roommate into a sink last night. And I almost won.
No one suspects that a sweet girl who is excited about her anniversary with her bf just blew her partner at work in a communal area a few hours ago, so its cool.
At this point, just throw that mattresses away. Or bronze it and display it as a testament to your shame. either is good.
Steve brought 6 joints and 2 bottles of makers mark, Josh shat himself in the pool, and Amy blew me. Hope that extra 3 dollars an hour for working overnights is still worth it.
ok, i suppose pissing your pants could be considered a wardrobe malfunction.
It's 4 am here and I just vomited myself awake....Not rising OR shining any time soon
You literally chaperoned my booty call.
There is a time and place for BDSM, in-between disney sing-alongs is not one of them.
I mean you're asking high Chelsea. I'd sell myself for a rice crispy
I wanted to say, you're welcome for your orgasms, thanks for not returning the favor, Needledick
Randomize
