I'm so over stopping myself from talking about my sexual experiences in front of children.
For my 21st birthday, I require a kiddy pool filled with vodka. Make it so.
So that'd what fifty dollars of chicken at 7/11 looks like. Made it to work on time. Puked twice. BOOM.
I have a date tonight... Like a real date... Not the kind where you just go over to his house and have sex and then never speak again.
This isn't fair. Why can't sober me be good at bejeweled?
Was booty called last night and I was so blacked out that my roomie made me puke before going to "eye of the tiger." Why I'm still single is beyond me
The bartender had to walk me home last night. New high or new low?
So are we just not going to talk about the time I came home to you jerking it in the kitchen?
My flask has coffee in it for finals week.. So that's responsible right?
we were both freshly single and using each other as rebounds. most intense sex I've ever had. i felt like a grizzly bear emerging from hibernation in a whirlwind of sexual fury
Who wakes up at 9 and says "let me send a pic of my dick to my ex gf"
I'm going to make a stack of pancakes and fuck it. Right now.
Does going to a local bar count as taking part in Small Business Saturday? Asking for a friend
She was all for the threesome til I showed her a pic of my boyfriend. I think I should re-evaluate my life decisions.
So, my first week in Saskatchewan ended with me drinking moonshine and getting eaten out in a tractor. I already love it here!
Randomize
