he thinks he's going to hurt your feelings
He can't hurt my feelings
I don't have feelings.
I swear she didn't look like that last week.
it's not the walk of shame if you do it in cowboy boots.
Yep. About to get on pornhub to spill some Christmas cheer
I walked out of the bedroom naked holding a used condom only to be greeted by half of my family. Happy birthday mom
I just laughed at the word pudding. I have no idea whats going on right now.
The cop told us he we helped him pass his monthly bong quota. He almost ran out of room on the hood of his car..
Jesus Christ that hit just spoke to so many levels of my soul. It's caressing them softly
Please tell me that all of the things I remember doing last night didn't really happen. Please.
I just peed on a rich man's lawn fuck yeah America
I thought he was foreign, but it turns out when you're that drunk, an Ohio accent just sounds Russian.
I walked out and he was covered in jelly, slithering around the floor. I don't know how to process that.
Remember that time I came to London for 4 hours, got hammered, cried for an hour and then left.
Apparently i disappeared and no one found me until the morning , but i have fifty missed calls
My Boss was giving porn recommendations. I think I'm scarred for life.
Randomize
