is it bad if i hope guys are like edward cullen and can read my mind. i could be a whore in disguise.
Just heard a guy discussing with someone else the amazing blow job you gave him. I’m in New York. Over 2 hours away from where you live. I have never been more proud.
maybe i get so drunk and make stupid mistakes cuz Subconsiously im preparing for my real world debut
you would think someone who fights for his country could fight to last longer than 2 minutes
Just found out that wake n bake is not one of the 7 habits of highly effective people..
Then she called me a home wrecking whore.
dont they live in a condo? that doesnt count.
slow down on the beer.. we don't need another pentabong projectile hot dog incident
We're celebrating his weight gain and arrest.and by we I mean I, and by celebrating I mean getting dangerously drunk
I demanded respect from my fuck buddy. Drunk me is not fun.
Sleeping with random people is the same as soul searching, right? Ps that wasn't a team name suggestion.
shes on the ground doing bicycle kicks screaming "is my ass good enough for you now satan" send help
i remember going to sleep after the 4th time i threw up this morning and hoping i didn't have to again because then it would be uneven between saturday and sunday. my ocd is getting out of control
She's got Mike in the bathroom. He's covered in meat.
sweet Jesus, who thought 13 martinis was a good idea? 11 was probably sufficient.
ayo
its like you know when i get waxed
Randomize
