as for my dating sex life, no more regret sticks. Only pride wands from now on.
Do you ever creep on the girls you have banged and wondered how their walk of shame went?
All I know is that it's pretty damn mean to put a glass wall in a bar.
my host sister just stared at me as i knocked over the lamp, then took out all my chocolate, walked into the bathroom, and locked the door. i'm officially the worst exchange student ever.
was i strangled at any point last night? or was his dick just that long
In fairness it was pretty good sex, but I still wasn't expecting the mass cheering and applause he got on leaving my tent
The usual, bring face make up, I have a weird gash on my nose, probably from my one night stand
He just took a bite of each taco bell burrito and hid them throughout my apartment. this was 2 weeks ago and have found 30 burritos so far
Just woke up, shitty hungover, and realized that every article of clothing I slept in was backwards, bra included. Fuck you, gin. Fuck you.
Oh I see how it is...you can snap chat the world your balls but I wear dinosaur feetie pajamas and I'm the "weird one"
I yelled "NO FLEX ZONE!!!" at the guy that thinks it's cool to take off his shirt at the party then proceeded to puking
Maybe you should stop dating for awhile if the chicks aren't working out. Reacquaint yourself with your hand or something.
YOU BROUGHT HANDCUFFS TO THE WHITE ELEPHANT EXCHANGE AND DIDN'T TELL ME???
WE ARE DOOMED.
And not the good kind of doomed. Assuming there is one.
it isn't the robot apocalypse that's for sure
how did i manage to wake up with my bra on backwards?
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