:( I'm sorry!!!
sexual favors sorry?
absolutely not
i'm starting to get really nervous about the relationship i have with my cat
i refuse to live in a world where loud threesomes in your own apartment are referred to as "rude"
did you yell "are you not entertained?"
2 showers later and I'm still finding cum on random body parts of mine
Just woke up. Need to shower and fuck. Be there when I'm done disappointing. Should be 30.
By round 4 of the Dead End shots, I thought my jaw was dislocated ... Best invention EVER.
they won't let me drive with my sombrero
The more and more I think about it, the more I realize... it's not ok to just pull over on the side of the highway to pee... I'm sorry I argued that
cassie wtf are you alive??! no one has seen you for like seven hours whereeee did you go
IS IT POSSIBLE FOR A GUY TO NOT HAVE BALLS
I was more obsessed with the sweat stain on her back that was simultaneously shaped like a vagina and the virgin Mary.
He sent me a snap chat of his naked torso with cookies over his nipples. Like.... that does not make me want you homeboy.
Is it a bad thing for a seven year old to call one an alcoholic? Asking for a friend..
I have put on lipstick and signed up for class. Nothing more shall be expected of me today.
You tried to stop drinking but then she started feeding you tequila with a spoon. You were like an adorable baby bird.
the raccoons are back...
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