you told everyone your name was brenda and you had the whole party chanting b-dawgg by the end of the night. successful.
So she comes up to me at the end of the night and asks me if I going to take her home and fuck her. I pretty much had to right?
you had an obligation.
Fucking freshmen need to learn how to puke in the bushes outside the dorm and not in the fucking elevator.
Hey thanks again for rolling me that blunt necklace. It was amazing.
This escort grabbed my boyfriends ass and it became clear, he fucked pretty much anything he could find prior to dating me.
There is a girl in my drunk limo who hasn't seen an uncircumcised penis. Hook me up with a picture.
he has this weird thing where he watches me pee
Halfway through lecture, some kid in the front row threw up IN his hands. Professor held the door for him to carry it out.
I think I'm drunk at the airport. Oh the possibilities
Dilemma. I'm out of wine and I can't put on clothes to go to the liquor store bc I just got spray tanned. If this isnt white girl problems I don't know what is.
so i was thinking... those 6 am shots weren't really needed.
Tomorrow I'm going to tape my thumbs to my palms and my biceps to my abdomen to learn what it's like to be a t-rex for a day. Anyone else in?
I'll be naked. By 11. Then arrested. Drunk tank adventures
My lack of taco bell is hindering me from seeing the good part of that situation
Southwest doesn't have zingzang bloody Mary mix. I'm gonna file a complaint with the FAA
Randomize
