I think i really like him...he was super cuddly and kept me company.
stop. you already have a dog
I'm starting a business if you want to get involved
oh boy
Its called Cut N Tugs, haircuts with happy endings
He about cried when I ordered pizza online. He said it was a miracle.
beer for lunch on the first day back to school.... too soon?
he'll be my respectable boyfriend for tksgiving and i'll be his non-slutty girlfriend for christmas.
and then ....
he stays my gay friend and my parents think i'm not a slut.
The horrors my penis has endured I wouldn't wish upon any man.
i just remembered that i did the "single ladies" dance ON THE BAR...fuck you slippery nipples i curse the day i discovered you
Note to self: Don't go home with a recent divorcee. Semen and tears.
Wait, just ask him if can you can join in. You haven't lived until you've taken part in a threesome with your father...or so I've heard
Building a door into the garage so when I bring girls home my mom doesn't wake up.
Pathetic yet considerate
He came inside and met my grandmother after we had sex in the driveway. I love that he has a van.
My relationship: I'm wearing batman panties and a tiara right now trying to get laid and he's doing dishes.
So will your sis find it a compliment if I tell her I lost out on some awesome dick to go to her bday dinner???
Whenever a guy asks me why I like weird sex stuff, I just answer, "Catholic School".
I just found an entire bag of French fries under the seat of my car labeled "For emergency use only" drunk me is always planning ahead.
Randomize