Have you ever had champagne poured on you during sex? It was like a rap video
That's saying a lot from the girl who takes her liquor with her to the library
He woke me up at 4am just to lick my nipple. Then he talked in his sleep for 20 minutes about the sex we just had. I think it's safe to say he's a weird one, but I dont care cuz he fucks like a champ.
I had a dream about a turtle sitting on top of a horse skull. I'm certain its a symbol for my dead sex life. Trust me.
pretty sure I offered to blow her dad. she's not speaking to me & he won't stop winking at me.
I'm in the "I'd rather have Carbs than Dick phase" part of my Life right now. YOU tell me how much Skinny Sex I'm having.
All i know if I'm throwing uo into a bag with a smiley facE on it right now and this is not a smileuy face time right nowe
If you were curious as to how many pounds of bagged marijuana can fit in the trunk of a 2010 Chevrolet Aveo, we now have the answer
I made the jerking off hand motion to my mother by accident this morning. It was awkward for everyone involved.
The last thing I remember was wearing a sombrero and trying to do cartwheels in the club
You did one successfully. Then smashed into the wall
If your night didn't end with writing a witness report for the cops at a shwarma place, your night was probably less interesting than mine.
He didn't have much of a personality. But I had like 100 orgasms, so that's cool.
I just fanned myself with my wet toothbrush to dry my mascara. Wtf
the guy had "bad bitches only" tattooed above his penis...
Idk, I know when I drink vodka my bi side comes out and I just want to make out with a girl
Randomize
