the next pure michigan commercial i see, i am going to pee in a fucking lake
I mean we're not committed. He's my first choice, sort of like miller lite. When I'm at the bar I'm going to order one, but if they don't maybe I'll go for a bud or blue moon. I'm certainly not going to stop drinking
We woke up in an inflatable kiddie pool full of both empty and full beer cans. In the middle of his dad's office. Oh, and we were locked in. Nobody remembers.
She shouted out halfway through "that costume does nothing to hide your cock". Last time we let her drink at the theatre.
I'm going to do lines of vitamin c I cannot be sick for halloween
I'll be so proud. Like a proud mama bear freeing my slut cub into the wild.
Way to ruin everything
I am drinking jager with a cat, your argument is invalid
You were running around yelling "BUKAKE!" and squirting people with a shampoo bottle you found. Total shitshow.
Some people say 6pm is too early to get drunk. To them I say this dinner is delicious.
Before we fucked we both mutually agreed not to tweet about it.
He woke up in a dragon costume, covered in bong water. That was a party we will regret missing.
I ended up at home with a random bird sculpture and flowers
I didn't know where you were for like 15 minutes and then I went in the bathroom splashing water on the mirror and throwing hand towels around saying that you were "redecorating"
If you sleep with another manager before the year is up you'll deserve an accomplishment sticker.
I was high as fuck laying down in the back seat while she gave him head. Most awkward chill moment of my life.
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