Have you ever been so weak from sleep you couldn't push your poo out?
This is the prime rib incident all over again
We have sex, then we talk about foreign policy. Its a win-win.
You should offer shots at parent teacher conferences..I bet more ppl come
and you stopped teaching...why?
I feel like I just lived out a children's book called "The Day I Went to Law School Stoned"
I complimented him on his choice of carpeting while he was humping me.
Please don't smoke the bong in the bathroom while you shit. It is not a shitting bong.
Got a traffic ticket on the way home.. Literally cost me $171 to give him a blowjob. I swear the officer could smell the cum in my hair.
On the way out the door to work grabbed the wine glass on the floor left for the ghost of Elijah and chugged it. PASSOVER.
He is really real. Like I know where he works, have referenced him with mutual fb friends and I've seen his dick. He's real.
He ate the contents of an ashtray and didn't puke, I think he can handle drinking a fifth to himself.
It all started with sending him a text about Spongebob. It escalated from there.
You'll be like the drunk Paul Bunyan someday with a giant grey cat
Lmao a dude who just got out of prison said im worth 10 cigarettes in prison...I think that's a compliment
I’m at that point in my trip where I’m kinda hot, kinda cold and I have to remember to breathe.
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