Regardless of the degree, it's probably not good to relate so closely to the Steve-O documentary.
We named our party play list daddy issues
Dude..TWLOHA day. gonna write LOVE on my arms before going to the bar tonight. its like a pussy guarantee.
She twisted her ankle and paid a homeless guy for a piggy back ride home from the bar.
Wow, nothing is more special than changing the channel and seeing the guy who groped you on Saturday night...
It was so weird. She left to go to the bathroom and her older sister leaned towards me with a creepy smile and said, "You don't deserve her" and then continued to stare at me with a crazy expression for the rest of the evening.
That's kinky shit dude.
Any day that has a special name thats capitalized means you need to need to call in sick and get day drunk. That's why they are there.
I set up her keyboard so that no matter what she does, it will open up RedTube. Click and command Q all you like, its going to porn. No I play the waiting game
On my way to get pizza I followed a dog into Salvation Army where I was just hired
I'm pretty sure I imagined the dog... They still hired me
i was the only bi girl at the frat party. i felt like the last cresent roll at thanksgiving
Let's never forget the time I met you while you were running down the street naked and in handcuffs.
We're trying to make our wedding vows nice but meeting on OkCupid fucks that up entirely.
I can't wait til me and pit bull can just be together
OMG he dropped his pants for me. Granted it was to show me where he got stabbed but still...
ONE DAY CAN WE PLEASE HAVE SECRET SEX. PREFERABLY IN AN ANCIENT PYRAMID BUT I'M NOT OPPOSED TO A 4 STAR HOTEL
Randomize
