I accidentally told him I've been cheating on him with his brother last night.
How did that happen by accident?
I was drunk and vomited all over him and thought, "maybe he will just stay with me out of pity if I tell him with stomach acid and alcohol all over his crotch." I was wrong.
He is an equal opportunity slut.
TBS has betrayed me by telling me tyler perry is funny
Dwarf fight at five guys. Today was a good day.
Just be happy that you're the pretty friend. Otherwise you would have had to walk home alone, like me.
Well. I have your keys. You have my car. Looks like we have a drunkxican standoff.
I just want to know how she convinced 6 sober ROTC guys to have an ab contest on a street corner at 2 in the morning.
I found one of your hair extensions on the dance floor. You put it back in your hair
Dude! I just figured out I can successfully hide a 4oz flask between my boobs without endangering my cleavage! College: conquered!
we superglued breast forms to his chest. those aren't coming off anytime soon.
HEY. NO. THIS IS ABOUT YOU RIGHT NOW. YOUR COCK, MY MOUTH, THATS IT.
While I appreciate the pity sex (seriously, THANK YOU) we should not do it 3feet away from my ex when he's passed out next time. Awkward.
She was hammered and showed her gay best mate a pic of my cock, his response was "I fucked the wrong brother"
On a side note apparently my brother is gay
Maybe i don’t have a tell. Maybe wine is my poker face.
Man the amount of drugs being done at a wedding with a bunch of surgeons was disturbing
Randomize
