hi brent please bring bad word music cd must most bad word please brent bring cd music bad word please brent bring cd music bad word
you're the one who masterbates every night to the titanic soundtrack
I will fight anything that is not spinning right now
When I told her that her boyfriend was making out with another chick, all she said was "which one"
you kept looking at stripers and saying " Go to College"
despite the cops showing up at 8am, pre gaming groundhog day was my idea yet. and by pre gaming, i of course mean getting black out drunk by 7:30am
Bonding with my year old cousin over the fact that we both shit ourselves. Babysitting like a bosss
You came on the chandelier from the first floor.. Of course were allowed back
Having to grow a landing strip to cover the bruises from pole dancing. Thanks for the birthday present, but next time, maybe just a gift card?
It's gay pride, I'm in my EMT uniform getting more girls than your straight ass ever will..
Also day 6: dick is healed and ready to go back to work.
They are like untrained puppies reaking havoc on a newly furnished house. Out of control.
You just compared our vaginas to a newly furnished house...I can dig it.
Let’s try it, I’ve never had a bad time with sex, tacos and beer.
I told my mom that I might be hungover today so she needs to make me an omelet.. it happened and I'm happy
I've got two reasons for you to come over later and one of them is pierced.
Randomize
