So you're telling me it's impossible to have a "slight case" of chlamydia?
dude, osama threatened the US again
dude. i slept with your sister last night
what?
I saw that as an opertune moment to drop some big news
i was gonna tell him a really embarassing story about you, but then i remembered im in all of them
I got it! After our exam we take shots for every question we skipped!!!
I don't wanna die...
So, i took all the condoms from his nightstand, not in the crazy ex way, but in the I paid for them way.
she said we were using the spray butter as air freshener
I just fucked my ex's ex's ex. Love quadrilateral complete
3 things. 1) we need alcohol 2) we need alcohol 3) we need tortilla chips. Let's make a plan. Bro shakes and salsa.
HE THREATENED ME WITH A CACTUS. WHERE DID HE EVEN GET A CACTUS.
If they weren't representing Obama and the White House, they definitely would've punched me in the face.
You made out with both twins? Ten points to you!
I hid a TracFone in her bra. We'll find her tomorrow.
Yeah she's a complete bitch. But I mostly hate her because she hijacked my fuck buddy.
I WOULD NEVER LIE ABOUT SOMETHING AS SERIOUS AS SABADO GIGANTE BEING CANCELED
he was like tryna hang and chat and I was like dude there's an iguana in this room
Randomize
