is her vagina suppost to smell like dirty taco bell?
I'm not inviting you over anymore if my cat keeps ending up in the freezer...
All I want in this world right now are Doritoessssss
OK. You going to get home safe? Who are you with?
Doritoesssssss
Day 3. Will have to postpone job hunting by a month. May have blown out my knee. Was sunburned on Friday. Now look painted red. Still alive. All worth it.
He would only do it doggy style. The "he's probably gay" debate rages on...
Half of elefante. Gelafin galaxy
I'm currently day drinking, studying and making corn. Don't tell me what I can't do.
I concluded last night that you have no tear ducts, heart, or sense of any feeling.
She's like my safety school. At the end of the night, if I haven't found anyone better to hook up with, I can always call her if I need a place to drop a load and don't want to rub one out myself. Perfect next door neighbor.
Please tell me you werent the one who replaced every beer bottle in my fridge with a picture of a baby kitten.
... and if i was..
Fuck. You.
My mom just found my nipple clamps...... oh God why....
I just realized I donated our bong to goodwill.. RIP Kimbo Slice
You suck, She hit so hard.
I know you are gonna wanna ask a lot of questions but when we are home I need to cover your face with deli meat and photograph it
He makes furniture for a living and is basically a hot, younger Ron Swanson
When my card got declined you bought the vibrator without me even asking. This is what friendship is.
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