chicago's viagra triangle is not unlike the bermuda triangle in thatt things just get lost...... planes, ships, dignity, virginity, etc.
I'm outside your house...sorry I feel like I don't need formal invites anymore.
some guy just asked me if water gets in a vag when girls take a bath. WTF. it's not a wind tunnel!
I can't be the first person ever who had to explain why her bottle of orange juice had a picture of a screwdriver drawn on it
You texted me 'I am the leopard prince', with a series of pictures of you posing in what seemed like cat poses. you were not "a little bit" drunk dude..
I did too many shots and now a kitten is trying to eat my bagel.
I am going to dream of scrotums tonight, I just know it.
But he's not just anonymous male genitalia anymore. I've met him, I've seen his face.
I'm making him come over again tonight. I don't know how long this thing will last so I want to spend as much time with his dick as possible.
Well at least I still have a burrito in my pocket.
you can't get cum all over my hair and then tell me you just want to be friends
I'm pants less watching buffy the vampire slayer drinking rum. I'm not that hard to impress
I need to wake up with a beard between my thighs more often, I'm a fucking saint.
I just hooked up with a one legged Australian guy. Hooray diversity!
This guy needs to stop asking about my feet
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