apparently farting at a cop is considered assault.
Oh. My. God. Best non-relationship, he-might-be-cheating-on-his-boyfriend-but-I-can't-tell-because-of-the-language-barrier sex EVER!
i have a new found respect for you. the amount of people you must have cockblocked last night is amazing
Shut up. It sucks being the ugly friend, I would know, but someones gotta play the role
Do you think flip cup during wine tasting is a bad idea? They're perfect flipping cups...
I wish I could like. Pull my liver out, and put it in the corner of a boxing ring, put a towel and ice on it, rub it's shoulders, and tell it to "get back in there, you got this!".
I meant to thank you again for giving up a potential interracial threesome to come to my party. I'm glad you stayed!
We're doing it in the traditional way of discussing why we dislike each other while sharing a bowl. Just like the natives do.
Bad things happen to those who bang their lab partner at the beginning of the semester.
Megan brought her friend up last night, greeted her by drunkedly taking a piss all over her duffle bag of clothing
the first cop to show up was this girl who hooked up with our home ec teacher in high school, she knows about questionable decisions
I just learned in class that female whales slap their fins against the water and then ten males come and fight for her yet we can't get guys to text us back
Why were you doing tequila shots out of Boston Pizza dip containers?
i was really depressed when i left the health dept this morning after i had to write a higher number next to "partners" than "age"
before i went to bed i wrote myself a note that says 'i feel all swirly'
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